This post is one of two that I started before my trip to Ann Arbor. I had a hard time trying to express myself, so it was put aside in what I call “my maybe file”. I have been so busy doing other projects I have not had time to write a post on my fantastic trip to Ann Arbor and Chicago. I have now decided to write that trip into two posts at a later date.
In the mean time I need to keep my few readers entertained! After my conversation with my daughter, upon which I mentioned that her Dad had married a high-maintenance individual, I decided... why not “rock the boat”and finish this post.
Along with some of the shenanigans that I do (planned or unplanned) I also have a tendency to “bungle” good times by what I say. I manage to get myself into lots of trouble sometimes; since I am an out-spoken, emotional, very inquisitive, opinionated, and blunt person who has the tendency of speaking without thinking. I also found that negative behavior will get in the way of positive behavior in the eyes of the beholder. I have found it very hard to travel and visit friends and family for extended periods of time. It is exhausting trying to hold your tongue or to think before you speak. When I do this, I feel like I am someone else walking/talking in a stranger’s shoes, therefore, not being myself. If I am around anyone for long periods of time I will eventually end up loosening-up my tongue and become too chatty or irritating. Sometimes it is hard to live in a world that judges you on what "others"considered unacceptable characteristics or behavior. I am my own worst enemy. I would rather sit at home with a good book or my computer staying out of disaster’s way. This is a great way to keep others happy and to keep myself out of trouble. To be honest, at this point in my life, I like who I am and my “forked” tongue is part of who I am. Unfortunately, I have developed the "attitude", accept it, or move on. LOL, this includes my occasional curse words that I like to use.
Have you ever wished you could be judged in the world of a child? I do, for my grand kids see me in an entirely different light. They look at the positive and accept ME. They listen to what you have to say/share. LOL, Sometimes they listen too carefully. Unfortunately, this will not last long. As children grow-up, overhear adults talk, and mature they begin to see you through another’s eye; not necessarily their own, and they become judges too. I have found that people tend to dwell on the negative and rarely see the positive aspects of a person.
I do try not to judge people. It is very hard and without realizing it, I quite often fail; especially, when it comes to defending or protecting those that you love. I too possess judgmental characteristics I find irritating in others. Behaviors that in another person’s eye may be acceptable, yet these behaviors drive me nuts and sometimes to bouts of anger.
(Back stabbers, whiners, making excuses for negative behavior, blaming others for their own transgressions, make-believe friendliness, selfishness, pouting, cheating, lying, snobbery, acting like someone you are not, insincerity, hypocrites, acting one way towards a person one day, but in front of others acting differently… are just a few). Sometimes good manners “suck;" especially, when you have to be nice to someone publicly who you really do not particularly like. (Typically, I will ignore or “TRY” to move away from this person; hoping I will stop myself from saying or doing something I might regret.) When I “suck it up" and try to be nice I feel like I am being dishonest with myself; and I do not like this person I have become. Actually, it is a "NO win" situation for if you ignore someone you have bad manner; but if you are nice, when you really do not mean it, you then become a hypocrite. I have learned through the years that I personally rather someone simply not be friendly towards me when they really do not mean it.
I have found that as a “high-maintenance” individual, people expect them to be something that they are not. They expect a person to change their ways to meet the expectations that are acceptable in the eyes of the beholder. I have often wondered if those who do the judging have ever seriously looked at themselves and see their own flaws. With a “high-maintenance” person, people tend not to take the energy to really listen when they express themselves. No one realizes this unless they are "high-maintenance" themselves, how totally frustrating this can be. It is like you have wasted your time and energy. Solution... Quit talking and just write. I have found this to be especially true after I began this blog. People 
tend to read and find issue “good or bad” on what it is you have written. They can continue to read, or with a click of a mouse on the “X, " flip you off if they are too pissed to read what you have written; therefore, unknown to the person doing the writing. Taking “issue” means that they have paid attention to the written word. Maybe they will understand the issue or the person a little better after it has been read.
(Back stabbers, whiners, making excuses for negative behavior, blaming others for their own transgressions, make-believe friendliness, selfishness, pouting, cheating, lying, snobbery, acting like someone you are not, insincerity, hypocrites, acting one way towards a person one day, but in front of others acting differently… are just a few). Sometimes good manners “suck;" especially, when you have to be nice to someone publicly who you really do not particularly like. (Typically, I will ignore or “TRY” to move away from this person; hoping I will stop myself from saying or doing something I might regret.) When I “suck it up" and try to be nice I feel like I am being dishonest with myself; and I do not like this person I have become. Actually, it is a "NO win" situation for if you ignore someone you have bad manner; but if you are nice, when you really do not mean it, you then become a hypocrite. I have learned through the years that I personally rather someone simply not be friendly towards me when they really do not mean it.
My husband is very much a “low maintenance person” and, fortunately/or unfortunately, I am just the opposite. I have discovered it is usually easier for me, as well as others, to accept the “low maintenance” person. They are easier to get along with: they are kinder, low-keyed emotionally, not overly opinionated, less excitable, less temperamental, easy going, more accepting to others feelings, and have less material needs and desires.
I have found that as a “high-maintenance” individual, people expect them to be something that they are not. They expect a person to change their ways to meet the expectations that are acceptable in the eyes of the beholder. I have often wondered if those who do the judging have ever seriously looked at themselves and see their own flaws. With a “high-maintenance” person, people tend not to take the energy to really listen when they express themselves. No one realizes this unless they are "high-maintenance" themselves, how totally frustrating this can be. It is like you have wasted your time and energy. Solution... Quit talking and just write. I have found this to be especially true after I began this blog. People 
tend to read and find issue “good or bad” on what it is you have written. They can continue to read, or with a click of a mouse on the “X, " flip you off if they are too pissed to read what you have written; therefore, unknown to the person doing the writing. Taking “issue” means that they have paid attention to the written word. Maybe they will understand the issue or the person a little better after it has been read.
When people are listening or partially listening they tend to be too busy at the time to really pay attention. Most people have an agenda of their own, they are bored, or whatever other excuses that may be present at that time; so it is easier to tune-out and half-hear to what is being 
said. I am bad about doing this, especially if I am reading. We all do this to some extent. Maybe that is why I enjoy reading so much. I am listening/reading the written word, agreeing or disagreeing, with what is written within my own comfort level without interruption.
I guarantee I have gotten your attention for a short period of time. Why! You read what was written. Whether you like or comprehend what you have read is not significant. What is significant is whether you understood or cared about what was written.
said. I am bad about doing this, especially if I am reading. We all do this to some extent. Maybe that is why I enjoy reading so much. I am listening/reading the written word, agreeing or disagreeing, with what is written within my own comfort level without interruption.I guarantee I have gotten your attention for a short period of time. Why! You read what was written. Whether you like or comprehend what you have read is not significant. What is significant is whether you understood or cared about what was written.
(Exception: The written word has to be read first before opinions or knowledge can be formulated or evaluated. Look at all one misses by not reading or listening.)
Respectfully submitted, Susan Livingston Thompson
