WILL YOU MAKE IT TO HEAVEN?

“You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.” Henry Drummond

I wonder if everyone, when they were a child, imagined what Heaven looked like and where it existed?  I did, and I still hope, it isn’t just a child’s imagination.  I imagined that above the Earth beyond the clouds there is this mystical, beautiful space called Heaven with a pearly gate that stretches and surrounds it.  Those who are pure of heart could look up and see tiny twinkling angels peeking through the clouds watching “us” earthlings. Since I could never see these transcendent angels, it was/is obvious, that I am not “pure” of heart.  Even when the stratosphere is full of fierce storms such as volcanoes, tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, etc.; this serene world would remain the same, never changing, except for the amount of angels that entered this heavenly place. I believed, and still believe, that Earth is Purgatory. How we live our lives on Earth will determine how God will relate to St. Peter on His decision; will you, or will you not enter “The Heavenly Gate!”

“When angels visit us, we do not hear the rustle of wings, nor feel the feathery touch of the breast of a dove; but we know their presence by the love they create in our hearts.” Emily Dickinson/Billy Joel

Since God is a merciful God, “Hell” is represented by the ground upon where we are buried. Hell is not necessarily this fiery place; it could be damp, wet, ashy, or watery.  Simply, if your spirit/soul does not rise, you would remain dormant within the Earth.  Upon dying, if you have been a “worthy” person on this Earth, your spirit would float up a stairway that leads to those pearly gates where St. Peter, with the help of God, has three choices. 

The first choice….You would be sent into Heaven as an Archangel to sit on the right hand of God.  Your life on Earth would have been described as a person full of love for God and your fellow man.  You would have been devoted to sharing this “love” with your surrounding family and friends.  You would have been honest and giving of your heart and of your time.  You would have been kind, patient, understanding, a good listener, nonjudgmental, non-prejudice, encouraging, good natured, and full of hope for a better world.  These Angels would work directly with God.  They would give input into ways those on Purgatory Earth could practice to change their behavior, in order to live in harmony and peace within themselves and with each other.  Although God makes the final judgment, He considers His Archangel's ideas, and pray that those on Earth will listen.

The second choice ...You would enter heaven as a “Working Angel”.  These angels would possess the same qualities of the Archangels, but they may have a few unacceptable personality behaviors that need improvement. The “Working Angels” would move between Heaven and Earth as "Spirits” to help those who need guidance.  These Working Angels, who possess their own undesirable personality flaw, would be sent to guide those who possess the same weakness; God is hoping in doing so, they would help each other.   If a person has more than one adverse personality characteristic that needs modifying, a team of angels may be needed.  If successful in his assigned missions, the “Working Angels” would become Archangels.  Some of these same (work/knowledgeable angels) would also assist in flickering extra bits of awareness and education into areas of science, math, medicine, farming, engineering, computers, and other fields of endeavor; therefore, improve mankind’s ability to survive in the ever changing world they have placed themselves .

"We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another." ~Luciano de Crescenzo

The third choice...You would be sent to “Purgatory Heaven” which lies just outside the “Pearly Gate.” Here you are called “wingless” angels. Although you possess a majority of the characteristics of a working or an Archangel, God would feel you have several character weaknesses needing more attention.   On some missions, God may possibly send, both, an Archangels and a Working Angel to Purgatory Heaven to help an individual earn his wings. These divine angels may want to obtain the assistance from another "wingless" angel to help them; this helps both "wingless" angels earn their wings. Upon earning your wings in Purgatory Heaven you would enter Heaven as a “Work Angel.”


“There is only one path to Heaven. On Earth, we call it Love." Anonymous

In conclusion, I wonder how my family would be judged upon reaching those Pearly Gates.  I “imagine” Saint Peter would immediately make  Peggy and Jimmy "Archangels".  Peg and Jim would help God in the guidance of earthly behavior and positive attitude/thinking. Peg could help Dad with his Historian duties. She'll twitter between Heaven and Earth helping other historian’s record chronological events for future generations.  God would place Jim, Clara, and John in charge of all areas of crafting and small designer projects needed to keep Heaven unworldly.  He may even use Jim to teach angels how to glide through the Earth’s atmosphere when they leave Heaven and head for Earth. Clara and Jim, along with Work Angels, would help Earthlings with patience, acceptance, and open-mindedness.  

St. Peter would let Mary Gay into heaven as a “Work Angel;” with the help of Peggy (an Archangel), Gay would assist in the area of English. Gay would teach the proper use of English and correct spelling; St. Peter will remind her that she needs to work on judgmental issues while earning her Archangel Wings. She is reminded that only God has the right to judge others.  (Mom will become an Archangel, once she addresses these same issues.)  Mom, along with Dad, would be assigned the duty of teaching angels the appreciation of reading and would, also, teach those who cannot read. 

Strawn would become a Work Angel, only because she would be needed to help other teachers on Earth in the area of organizing, neatness, teaching, and planning. There would be a need for her to work on her confidentiality issues.

Jay, Lacy, Colin, Paige, Fred, Wes, Claire, and all cousins would all make it into Heaven as either Archangels or Work Angels; only if, they continue on the path they are presently headed.

Gary would make it through the Pearly Gate; but, he would have to work on showing more understanding and tolerance towards others.  He would be placed in charge of the divine mystic gardens that bear fruit and flowers surrounding the gate of Heaven. He would, also, be in charge of recreation; teaching angels the importance of spreading their wings on a daily basis. Gary, with Jim’s help, would instruct the wingless angels how to maneuver themselves as "spirits" between Earth and Purgatory Heaven without the use of wings.

"If you go to Heaven without being naturally qualified for it you will not enjoy yourself there." George Bernard Shaw

As for me…..St. Peter would look at me, shake his head, and say, ”Sue, you need to join Cecil and Clay in Purgatory Heaven.” 

“Rats!," I would say. “St. Peter, does this mean I have to hangout with those guys since they are in the same place as me?” 

St. Peter would look at me and say, “Now you know the reason why you are being sent to Purgatory Heaven... ATTITUDE!”
          

“If I ever reach heaven I expect to find three wonders there: first, to meet some I had not thought to see there; second, to miss some I had expected to see there; and third, the greatest wonder of all, to find myself there.” Unknown

BLACK SHEEP GETS BLACK BALLED/LISTED

Before I continue, I must identify what I meant by “black sheep,” “black balled and “black list.” The typical meaning of “black sheep” is a worthless member of a decent family. Since, I do not think I am worthless, the typical definition does not apply to me, nor do I think it applies always to other black sheep . The use of “black sheep” in some cases is used too literally/harshly or it is used incorrectly unless explained. An example, would be our great, great, great uncle James Burroughs that served in the Cival War. He became a hermit living in the woods in SC across the river from Savannah, Ga. (His family lived in Savannah, but some members migrated to St. Augustine during and after the Civil War.)  James' vivid memories of the killing in the Civil War of his friends, family and fellow comrades left him riddled with guilt and he suffered back flashes. Dad says, as a very young boy, he remembered visiting with his uncle several times in his encampment in the woods. He described him as a good man who seemed very sad and lost.  James could not cope with society, but many in the family associated him as being a " black Sheep."
                                                 
                                                               "There is a black sheep in every flock"....Proverbs

In my case “black sheep” refers to…, one that is very different from the norm, in comparison to my other three sisters. I am the “bad” sister that was the troublemaker, the mouthy/bossy one, who had to have the last word. I was the opinionated one, who did not necessarily judge, but felt she needed to relate how she saw things from her point of view. Of course, that point of view was not always appreciated or viewed in the same manner, especially if it hit a negative vibe. Sometimes the "manner" upon which that opinion was delivered wasn’t exactly acceptable either. (Anger, sarcasm, under your breath, written???) I sometimes cannot let go of what bothers me or forgive too easily, especially if I have been “dealt a card from the bottom of the deck.” Thank goodness, for the most part, I forgive/forget pretty fast these days. To put it mildly, my youngest sister, from the time she was a child until her adult years, found my antics/views extremely annoying or hard to swallow. She especially disliked it when I shared these view with everyone. This leads to the next definitions….”Black Balled/Black List.”

     "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind”...Santiz

 
“Black list” is a list of persons who are believed to deserve punishment. “Black Balled” is defined as ostracized. In my case…removed from existence from an e-mail account, therefore placed on a “black list”. Since, this is exactly what happened, I will go with the dictionary's version of both words. If said “sister” knew about this blog, it would be ostracized and maybe I would be too. Then too, a lack of interest in computers, internet, blogs, facebook, etc.  will keep me safe for a while. The rest of my family does not realize I have returned to my blog. Consequently , I do not have to worry about the rest of  them ostracizing me yet. It is only a matter of time time before they become aware of my transgressions, for I always get caught. As you can see, I can be a very naughty girl. Eventually, I feel sure that someone I know will end up reading this and will think I have lost it. In actuality, I suppose in later years, it might serve as an entertaining read. I can hear it now, “I can’t believe she is actually wrote all this crap” etc.

Now, as mentioned above, I have been put on my own sister’s black list. I guess I should be upset that I created this sisterly blowup, but instead, I find myself laughing. I will not go into detail about what transpired to begin this “black ball” situation. Technically I did not start the process; I simply reported the facts. It is not every day you get black listed by your own sister. When I think back on what happened that Thanksgiving Day, I would have reacted in the same way now as I did then. Part of the humor was that I really wasn’t extremely upset. I was just reporting what her husband told me to do when he loudly went out my back door. He raised his voice and said "Now make sure you talk about me when I leave" or words very similar in nature. I responded that he could be sure that I would do just that.  Since, I always do what I say;  I followed through and BANG trouble began in "SISTER City". Am I regretting this…NO…but I have been put in the position that for the sake of family, I  need to back off from a few mixed family events, for the importance of peace. Although, ALL my sisters and their children are welcome in my home any time.

Since I, Susan Livingston Thompson, have written this on my blog, I guess it is an example of my not completely letting go...I AM WORKING ON IT. (Any grammical, verb, spelling and puncuation errors were deliberate.)

JUDGE AND BE JUDGED?

This post is one of two that I started before my trip to Ann Arbor. I had a hard time trying to express myself, so it was put aside in what I call “my maybe file”. I have been so busy doing other projects I have not had time to write a post on my fantastic trip to Ann Arbor and Chicago. I have now decided to write that trip into two posts at a later date.

In the mean time I need to keep my few readers entertained! After my conversation with my daughter, upon which I mentioned that her Dad had married a high-maintenance individual, I decided... why not “rock the boat”and finish this post.

Along with some of the shenanigans that I do (planned or unplanned) I also have a tendency to “bungle” good times by what I say. I manage to get myself into lots of trouble sometimes; since I am an out-spoken, emotional, very inquisitive, opinionated, and blunt person who has the tendency of speaking without thinking. I also found that negative behavior will get in the way of positive behavior in the eyes of the beholder. I have found it very hard to travel and visit friends and family for extended periods of time. It is exhausting trying to hold your tongue or to think before you speak. When I do this, I feel like I am someone else walking/talking in a stranger’s shoes, therefore, not being myself. If I am around anyone for long periods of time I will eventually end up loosening-up my tongue and become too chatty or irritating. Sometimes it is hard to live in a world that judges you on what "others"considered unacceptable characteristics or behavior. I am my own worst enemy. I would rather sit at home with a good book or my computer staying out of disaster’s way. This is a great way to keep others happy and to keep myself out of trouble. To be honest, at this point in my life, I like who I am and my “forked” tongue is part of who I am. Unfortunately, I have developed the "attitude", accept it, or move on. LOL, this includes my occasional curse words that I like to use.

Have you ever wished you could be judged in the world of a child? I do, for my grand kids see me in an entirely different light. They look at the positive and accept ME. They listen to what you have to say/share. LOL, Sometimes they listen too carefully. Unfortunately, this will not last long. As children grow-up, overhear adults talk, and mature they begin to see you through another’s eye; not necessarily their own, and they become judges too. I have found that people tend to dwell on the negative and rarely see the positive aspects of a person.

I do try not to judge people. It is very hard and without realizing it, I quite often fail; especially, when it comes to defending or protecting those that you love. I too possess judgmental characteristics I find irritating in others. Behaviors that in another person’s eye may be acceptable, yet these behaviors drive me nuts and sometimes to bouts of anger. (Back stabbers, whiners, making excuses for negative behavior, blaming others for their own transgressions, make-believe friendliness, selfishness, pouting, cheating, lying, snobbery, acting like someone you are not, insincerity, hypocrites, acting one way towards a person one day, but in front of others acting differently… are just a few). Sometimes good manners “suck;" especially, when you have to be nice to someone publicly who you really do not particularly like. (Typically, I will ignore or “TRY” to move away from this person; hoping I will stop myself from saying or doing something I might regret.) When I “suck it up" and try to be nice I feel like I am being dishonest with myself; and I do not like this person I have become. Actually, it is a "NO win" situation for if you ignore someone you have bad manner; but if you are nice, when you really do not mean it, you then become a hypocrite. I have learned through the years that I personally rather someone simply not be friendly towards me when they really do not mean it.

My husband is very much a “low maintenance person” and, fortunately/or unfortunately, I am just the opposite. I have discovered it is usually easier for me, as well as others, to accept the “low maintenance” person. They are easier to get along with: they are kinder, low-keyed emotionally, not overly opinionated, less excitable, less temperamental, easy going, more accepting to others feelings, and have less material needs and desires.

I have found that as a “high-maintenance” individual, people expect them to be something that they are not. They expect a person to change their ways to meet the expectations that are acceptable in the eyes of the beholder. I have often wondered if those who do the judging have ever seriously looked at themselves and see their own flaws. With a “high-maintenance” person, people tend not to take the energy to really listen when they express themselves. No one realizes this unless they are "high-maintenance" themselves, how totally frustrating this can be. It is like you have wasted your time and energy. Solution... Quit talking and just write. I have found this to be especially true after I began this blog. People tend to read and find issue “good or bad” on what it is you have written. They can continue to read, or with a click of a mouse on the “X, " flip you off  if they are too pissed to read what you have written; therefore, unknown to the person doing the writing. Taking “issue” means that they have paid attention to the written word. Maybe they will understand the issue or the person a little better after it has been read.

When people are listening or partially listening they tend to be too busy at the time to really pay attention. Most people have an agenda of their own, they are bored, or whatever other excuses that may be present at that time; so it is easier to tune-out and half-hear to what is being said. I am bad about doing this, especially if I am reading.  We all do this to some extent. Maybe that is why I enjoy reading so much. I am listening/reading the written word, agreeing or disagreeing, with what is written within my own comfort level without interruption.

I guarantee I have gotten your attention for a short period of time. Why! You read what was written. Whether you like or comprehend what you have read is not significant. What is significant is whether you understood or cared about what was written.

(Exception: The written word has to be read first before opinions or knowledge can be formulated or evaluated. Look at all one misses by not reading or listening.)

Respectfully submitted, Susan Livingston Thompson

THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY REUNIONS

As I begin this post, I am on the interstate headed to our annual family reunion. (Isn’t technology awesome?) This year (2009) we are headed to Helen/Sautee, Georgia. Supposedly, we will have approximately 40 people at this year’s reunion. I am especially excited because all the immediate James Thompson family will be there. Lacy and Jay, who are expecting their first baby in January, will be coming from Michigan. Paige, Fred, Claire and Wes are headed down from the Charlotte area. It will be a grand homecoming for us all. My sister, Strawn will be joining us again this year. All the Thompson brothers (Charles, Harper and Jim) are going to be there as well. When I joined the Thompson family there were six sisters and one brother (Ellene, Vivian, Frances, Bette, Wilma and John). Today only Wilma and Bette are alive and "kicking". They too will be there.

“We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.”-- Erma Bombeck

I especially will  be excited about seeing Sandra. She was my best friend from high school and the only one, except for my sisters, who was in my wedding. She and her husband Joe live close to Helen. She is headed to our high school reunion in Summerton, SC on Thursday; so I will get to see her a very short period of time. I will be grateful for the time we'll be together for I love her dearly; and if the family voting goes like I am hoping it will, I will see her again next year.

I will never forget my first reunion. I was a brave soul back then and went to this reunion with my fiancé’s family. (WITHOUT my fiancé.) (NOTE: I do realize this was NOT the picture taken in 1968. I am unable to located that particular picture.) I was treated like a queen. Jim’s Dad shocked everyone by stopping several times at roadside stands so I could buy boiled peanuts, fresh plums, and peaches. I was warned that Daddy "T" never stopped on his way to Florida and to do so for me was a complete shock. (After that first trip, Mama "T" would whisper to me, ask Daddy "T" to stop for boiled peanuts.)  So I would smile, ask excitedly, and sure enough he would pull over. I only know of FIVE men in my life that I completely loved. (My husband, my Son, my Dad, Gay Livingston and John Thompson) Daddy Thompson treated me like a lady. He was a quiet spoken man who loved and was devoted to his wife Clara. It was obvious how much he loved his three boys and his sisters. He was always teasing me and challenging me to complete task I would tend to put off or not do. I still miss him. It’s as simple as that!

“Family life is full of major and minor crises -- the ups and downs of health, success and failure in career, marriage, and divorce -- and all kinds of characters. It is tied to places and events and histories. With all of these felt details, life etches itself into memory and personality. It's difficult to imagine anything more nourishing to the soul.”-- Thomas Moore

Again I have gotten on one of those “a long ways around the barn tangents.”  I had never been to a family reunion and did not know what to expect. Other than my four sisters, their children and kids, Cousin Alec, and cousins we do not know in Alabama; we are all that exist on my side of the family.

The 1st reunion was called the Rowe-Barber reunion. The Thompson branch of the reunion got so big that we started having our own yearly reunion. The majority of the family was either from Florida or South Carolina, so we alternated between the two states. Our first Thompson reunion was at the Fish Camp in Florida. These last two years we traveled to Gatlinburg, Tennessee. (Two relatives, Bo Kirkland and John H. Thompson now reside in Tennessee.) You might want to say that we have a "traveling reunion;" and surprisingly, quite a large portion of the family come every year. A lot of us use the family reunion, not only as a time to get reacquainted with each other, but to take a vacation at the same time.

As I sit here drinking from my new coffee cup that Sandra gave me, (acting like the QUEEN) listening to all these relatives throughout this very large house talking and laughing together, some playing cards/Scattergories, smelling good ole fashion home cooking, and children yelling/crying/running up the stairs has given me a warm feeling of belonging. It's certainly a blessing to be a part of this Thompson family.

This year was special for Pat and Charles. They celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary. (Oh, how lucky you two are, WOW!) Claire, our Granddaughter, and Debra B. both celebrated their birthdays, as well.

As I sit here, I wished my visit with Sandra hadn’t been so short and I hadn't been so tired. We did not get to share our usual gossip and secrets. She and Joe live in this impressive old home with an absolutely beautiful view. What really makes me upset is that I did not take any pictures of Sandra or her home. I am the camera bug! To make matters worse, we discussed and looked at pictures; and I still did not bring out the camera. Watch out next year, Sandra, my camera will not stop clicking. She fixed us lunch. The lunch was pasta, one of  her Mom's (Grace) yummy recipes. She also had a pasta salad which was one of her own  recipes.  I really need to call her for the recipe. (I already have Grace's recipe.)  (Surprise, surprise…my husband actually ate pickled beets and liked them.)

Day three, I have noticed that I keep leaning away from my topic. Each of us share a part of ourselves in bringing the reunion together. Our end of the family had Friday’s breakfast. I was also responsible for the scrapbook. (Four Years) Thank goodness next year will be Nicci’s turn. After four years I am running out of ideas; therefore, I look forward to seeing fresh eyes looking at the family from a younger perspective.

Sandra Pricher, our president, was the organizer. She sent out reminders, determined who was coming, kept account of who would be responsible for meals, and ordered t-shirts, etc: She did a great job bringing all of us together before and during the reunion. Considering that she had a major fall, stitches, and a black-eye on the way to the reunion; and she still managed to still keep everything running smoothly is a major accomplishment within itself. I am in awe on how well she managed.

“Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible -- the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.”-- Virginia Satir

To me the whole reunion should really be centered towards the young adults and kids. They will be the future that will keep the Thompson clan together. Awhile ago, I saw and heard a very promising sight. As mention previously, Lacy is pregnant and they were entertaining Lacy with tales of past experiences and advice. Their laughter rocked the house. It brought back memories of my kids when they were young and my students when they got into these in-depth discussions and would laughed at whatever struck their fancy. Just watching and listening to them made me feel young at heart and optimistic of many Thompson reunions in the future. “Family faces are magic mirrors looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present, and future”. -- Gail Lumet Buckley

Well, it has taken me three weeks to get back to this post. I wrote another post and decided it might be a good time to finish this one. The last night before going home we had a big family gathering. It was decided that we would again have the reunion in Helen around the end of July, 2010. (Look out, Sandra, I am headed your way. Maybe the Summerton High School reunion will not be at the same time.) Our reunion will be Thursday –Sunday next year. We  may be leasing two houses, since the reunion has grown so big. Each family unit will be responsible for meals again next year.

The most beautiful/potent/sad part of our reunion was Kay reading to us a “Remembrance of Frances Woodward”, who passed away in January. To me, Frances was a delightful, straight-forward lady who was always interested in family (I called her the family Historian) and what we were doing. You never knew what she would say next. I could easily identify with her and on occasion…so would my shoulder or arm? (I never knew when her pinch was headed my way.) She always made me feel a part of the family. I totally enjoyed every minute I spent with her.  I have been blessed with her presence in my life. Kay did a simply beautiful heart-warming remembrance of Frances. It was evident that she spent a tremendous amount of time writing it and I truly feel Frances would have been proud of how it was written and presented.

“You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.”-- Desmond Tutu

Family and life continue to evolve. What will next year bring?

In each family a story is playing itself out, and each family's story embodies its hope and despair. Auguste Napier

ADDENDUM:  We just had our 2011 reunion,  Debbie was an absolutely great President. She was very organized and precise, friendly and a "fun" president.  The scrapbook, organized by Kim Sullivan, was super.  As you can see, it has been two years since I first wrote this post.  I had intended to come back and correct my many error.  I hope I found most of them.  If not, please call and I will attempt to correct all errors in a timely matter.